"Spiders ? I hate spiders. Why can't we follow the butterflies ?"

The other night I lay in bed, feeling insecure. I was (am) having trouble sleeping and was thinking over Markus's, thinking over the matirialistic side of it. Thinking of what Hazen said he was going to wear, and what I want to wear. My insecurity was talking me out of my fabulous outfit b/c of how dressed up I would look next to him... when suddenly a strong voice said;
"Life is short, wear the fucking outfit"
So I am. I don't care, I look damn hot in it and I'm going to wear it. Life is short, and you can change the ending of the quote for pretty much anything but the point of it all is... do it now or else you're going to wake up one day and be like "fuck, I've wasted my life"
When I woke up this morning I was angry. Babysitting alone then going to work. I was absolutely exhausted and absolutely un-willing to give the day a chance.
Well, the universe slapped me in the face on that one.
2 things happened today that stuck w/ me... both happened while the boys & I were in the pool @ SEAPARC...
1. I was sitting in the hot tub, watching the boys and the few other people in the pool. Next to the hot tub there is a shower for people to rinse off, and an old man began to do so. I would guess he was about 70 or so, and still quite spry. As he was rinsing off he began to dance. Not just rock back and forth, but he began to dance. There was nothing gross or innapropriate about it but there in the middle of a public pool at age 70, or so, this man began to dance.
2. We were goofing around in the whirlpool when a family came in. It consisted of a very young baby girl who is one of the cutest babies I've seen, a young boy about 5 w/ blonde hair and startling blue eyes and an amazing laugh. The parents ? 2 middle aged men, who were very much in love. I watched this family splash and play in the water and just the amount of love was so obvious in this little unit it made me want to cry. The old man dancing, and the gay couple fullfilling their dreams all in a public manner just made me realize how far we've come.
It gives me a little hope that we'll continue to grow, and it reminded me to give every day a fighting chance.