droopingdreams; drooping ideals

I'm exhausted. Seriously. I've been busy, which has effected my blogging for sure... lessened it which I'm sure no one is opposed too lol
Yesterday I hung out w/ Tamara, she came over and we went down to the beach and drank a smirnoff ice and smoked a joint. Caught up on some stuff, and felt kinda weird just falling back into the 'ol habits. Then I went off to my Youth Council meeting which I enjoyed to see some of the people (Justin, Skye, Connor, Scott) and try and move forward w/ it but I was also a little frusterated, the Youth Council really didn't turn out how I hoped it would and by the end it was really just a negative frustration. I'm not giving up though, and I've got a bunch of ideas of how to make it better and that will hopefully be enough to not make me hate the entire program. It frusterates me how non-dedicated people are, and how little we seem to be able to accomplish. We weren't a driving force, in any sense.
After the meeting I went to see Julie & Julia w/ Tamara & Jessica Lampe. It was nice, although I found I socialized w/ Lampe more than Tamara. I'm glad that Lampe came b/c I was having a hard time being around Tamara, it just makes me miss her more... thanks Hazen for taking me through my breakdown last night on the phone. I think I will be fine once she's gone but I don't know how, but that girl weasels her way into my heart every time. One thing that gets me, her smell. I know, weird right ? well she has a very distinctive smell... and to me it represents friendship. I can still almost smell it linger on my comforter. I miss her already, and I'm extremely jealous that she's currently at the AC/DC concert.
We didn't get home from the movie 'till 1, and I talked to Hazen on the phone 'till atleast 2, more like 230 considering I started crying. Needless to say, I didn't get a lot of sleep since I had to get up early to babysit Dalton & Cale. It was a harrowing day, and I'm so tired. I'll be glad when this babysitting gig is over.
After babysitting Hazen & I walked up to where I used to live, and I showed him my favorite place in the world. I love that land, it's a land of majic for me. If I could have anything in the world, it would be ownership of that property. I would keep it exactly the same. I love it, the forest and the fields, the rusting barbed wire fence and the barn door that doesn't close properly. Hell I even love the falling apart well and all the broom. I feel like I've shown Hazen a lot of me today, and I wonder if he feels he knows me better.
Then we came back to my place, and I showed him the room downstairs. I'm most likely not going to be able to move down there until after the exchange students are gone which is really frusterating. I've worked my ass off on that room all summer, I don't want to wait 3 months to be able to enjoy it. Something my mom has gone back on her word about, but there's still a fight yet to come... I may move down there yet.
Then Hazen and I ate veggie burgers @ stone pipe, and he headed to work and I stayed and worked. I had to stay later than I needed too b/c the server I was working w/ was too lazy to set a total of 6 places (each requiring a whipe off, a napkin, fork & knife) so he made me wait until the families had gone home before I could leave. It took me 5 minutes to set the tables, and I stayed an hour later. I could have been at home sleeping.
So here I am, broke as fuck and needing to buy a lot of things. I'm going tubing w/ Lampe tomorrow which should be fun !! I'm excited, it's not anything I've ever done before. I will take lots of pictures, and eventually put the Galiano ones on. Now I sound like Shaelee "pictures will come I promise". Except for her it actually matters, no one reads my blogg. People read hers, so it matters.... she's just ever so more fabulous than me ! aah well, I'm too tired to care.
There are things I want, and things I need and no money for any of it. I don't get paid for another 7 days and I'm not sure how big that pay check is going to be. I hope it's decent, although I have my doubts. I need back to school supplies and clothes, my phone is broken (still usable but the main screen is black) so I need to get that fixed. Cara's birthday party is Monday and I don't have a present for her. I need money in order to be w/ Lampe tomorrow (40$), and there's a PIGS (best Pink Floyd Tribute Band EVER) concert next month that I would desperately love to go to. There's endless UsedVictoria.com options for Shaelee's christmas present, although maybe I should just let it go. Christmas is still far off, but I'd rather buy and give gifts than buy things for myself. Sounds cheesy, but I love gifts. They're my thing.
I'm exhausted, and am going to go and pass out... another early morning tomorrow. Maybe I'll get some shut eye before Hazen phones....