we don't sleep very much, these triggers ache for the touch

I've been home all day.

babysitting. dogsitting. gramasitting. the latter making my head spin.

2 days at home alone with my racist grandma who suffers from dimensia. help. dealing with her is like a constant reminder of what she used to be, the woman i never knew but who kept her family together even with an abusive husband. she was apparantly a force to be reckoned with but I don't see it, can't see it. oh well, that's not what I wanted to write.

It hurts when you lose someone.

That's what I wanted to write.

It hurts when you lose someone.

Since September Cory, Bill, Troy, Emma-Lyn, Shayna, Laura and Erin have died.

The exchange students have come and gone like the tide,

and my best friend has moved away. twice.

Tamara comes and goes, and it is foolish of me to cling on to her when I know she will no doubt leave again, the first time she left I moved on. I found new friends, and new love.

One of the people I found was Shaelee. She's revolutionized my idea of how people view themselves and how confidence can play such a bigger role. She's so strong, and even when a broken heart often pulls her down she gets up. every single fucking time. She's amazing, and I love her. When Tamara left for a while there she was my best friend. She's my right-hand man.

and now she might be moving to Victoria.

I know it sounds petty but I've lost a lot of people this year and I don't know what I'll do if Shaelee moves away again. I sincerely hope she doesn't.

Shaelee, I love you and I hope you stay.