blah blah blah.

what is mediocre passion?

it's a couple coming together for the first time in months

and wondering why they fussed so much

about this activity's absence.

It's faking sick to get your schoolwork done

and spending the day watching

others compete olympically.

It's not writing in your blog, or in your journal

because you fall to your bed exhausted

without the energy for the pen.

It's wondering if she likes him, instead of her

who likes another, who liked the orginal

who is friends with me.

It's making food because you're starving

then eating it with extreme reluctance

while looking at your stomach.

It's reading books to get away from your life

instead of going out

and living it.

I am so exhausted.

we are going back to school on monday, but I feel like I haven't even had a holiday.
one thing having a dimentia grandma living at home does ; ruin your fucking holiday.

Merry Christmas !

Okay well the title to this post has nothing to do with the contents.
okay, well Friend A is new this year at our school but I've totaly fallen in love with her.
Friend B has some faults but for a while last year was my best friend and also a crush.
Friend C I've known since elementary school although we've never been very close. I like her, she's nice and she's funny and she's older and we're kind of friends because I've worked really hard to get it that way.

Friend B & C went out last year, and friend A & B are going out now. Friend B is still in love with friend C and friend C has a secret. Friend A is completely head over heels for friend B, but friend B still sleeps in Friend C's bed almost every night (although "nothing" goes on).

This fucking pisses me off.
1. Friend A doesn't deserve to be smudged like this.
2. Friend B needs to get over Friend C because it will never be romanticly working between them.
3. Friend C needs to abolish her secret.
4. If Friend B can not stop emotionally being with Friend C she needs to end it with Friend A because Friend A deserves some one who can be all with her.

I like/love them all but this stupid triangle just pisses me off. I could knock out one of the legs and let it tumble down but a relationship should be between 2 people, and 3rd (or even a 4th) distorts things.
It's none of my bussiness, but they're all my friends.

Don't Worry.

Don't worry boy, soon it'll all be over with. She will eventually move on, and you will eventually be free. She will stop tagging you in notes on facebook, because she will have more recent news to share that you haven't been a part of. Don't worry boy, her girlfriends will scoop her up and keep her company, until another fella comes along. Soon enough her fingers will stop automaticly dialing your phone number, and your love filled texts will expire from her inbox.
Don't you worry, boy, she'll be all right. She's made of harder stuff than you might think. Sooner than you'd think, her tears will stop falling in the moments before sleep. You'll drift away from her night time wanderings, and your laugh will start to fade from the soundtrack she plays for herself. Don't you worry boy, because your name will finally stop stinging, and the label of how it reminds her of you will fall from everything she sees.

Don't worry boy, she'll soon stop calling on you for memories.

Don't worry boy, soon you'll forgive her for breaking your heart.

Nine.

My gosh I wish I was part of the movie Nine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFqPd-tUjRI

Is it wrong that I'm 15 and wish I could only be this, if not just for a few moments ?

I wish I could command an audience,

could stirr feelings in every loins,

and walk tall with sexual confidence.