I'M A BE, I'M A BE, I'M A BE
LIVIN THAT GOOD GOOD LIFE

We're talkin on facebook chat, and in my mind I'm saying hmm, I like catching up but it hurts... maybe that's a sign. Maybe catching up isn't a good idea when your message pops up : wow typin on the computer is such a trip when you're drunk.
So much for getting off the drugs, the booze and getting on with school.

I'll see you later Devyn.

yes, yes, allright. I always get it mixed up, your birthday I mean. I always think it's on the 28th, even though you've told me a million times it's the 27th. But you always think mine is the 4th. Last year you did a big thing for my birthday, and I was shocked. But you were home then, and we were best friends. Things have changed.

yes, I did pretty much nothing for your birthday this year.

But you live a million miles away
and you don't phone me and tell me about your day anymore
and deep down I'm still mad at you
for leaving me and and breaking my heart
then coming back and making me whole again,
only to dart off without even telling me you were going
or even saying goodbye.
You see I'm used to you leaving,
and maybe I make a little less effort because I feel that you feel we're not important
maybe you make more effort so I'll think we are significant.
You're the one that taught me how to live without you,
and if it wasn't for facebook, I wouldn't know if you were alive or not.

But when it all comes down to it,
you've broken my heart so many times,
and so much worse than a boy ever could.
So I don't put in as much effort as I used to,
but you weave in and out of my life
and my heartstrings
not putting up any warning signals
and not caring about the destruction you make.

dear Tamara, you're my best friend.

but this yo-yo thing, it confuses me

I never know when to love you.

Well, I haven't written in a while. Life is cruisin along slowly, but why am I even saying this ? no one reads this anyways... I started writing to keep my sanity but now I've grown up, and hardly ever write anymore unless it's for school. I'm just too busy, maybe that's what growing up is like... stopping the stuff that you love because you've got to earn the money, make the grade and fuel the man.
fuck this shit, I'm going surfing.

I gotta say, you're driving me crazy.

blah blah blah.

what is mediocre passion?

it's a couple coming together for the first time in months

and wondering why they fussed so much

about this activity's absence.

It's faking sick to get your schoolwork done

and spending the day watching

others compete olympically.

It's not writing in your blog, or in your journal

because you fall to your bed exhausted

without the energy for the pen.

It's wondering if she likes him, instead of her

who likes another, who liked the orginal

who is friends with me.

It's making food because you're starving

then eating it with extreme reluctance

while looking at your stomach.

It's reading books to get away from your life

instead of going out

and living it.