tearful with the rain

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I've felt like crying all day, and I'm not sure why... which is the scariest part. Some days I feel happy for no reason, just blissfully good and then some days I want to cry all day. I read my essay outloud in english and to make matters worse... I cried. Not like teared up, I cried. Like bawled. Like had to stop reading because I couldn't make any sound come out.
Afterwards she called me brave, but I didn't feel brave. I felt small, tearfull, weak, embrassed, exposed. I wanted to cry some more, I wanted to walk away and go to where I could cry without shame. I wanted to run away, and I wanted only Hazen to follow me.
Ever since reading my essay tears are only a second away from my eyes. Small things, like dropping something, or forgetting my book at school ; they're defeating.
All I want to do is curl up in front of the woodstove with a blanket and read my book. I would also love to have Hazen curl up with me, with his book but that's not possible so I will refrain from even thinking it.
Today I misplaced my replacement phone. How ironic. In my frantic state trying to get my essay printed off on our frugal computer system, I have left it behind somewhere.
I feel defeated, all I want is my book which is entombed in my steel locker.